Paramour
by atr0cities
Summary: I know the name is random. This is little Mentalist/Jisbon oneshots that I made. Hope you guys like them. Please review! Reviews my crack.
1. Pictochat

**Disclaimer: They don't belong to me **** And they never will.**

**I'm going to start making a little Jisbon/Mentalist oneshot series, starting with this on right now. I'm aiming for a good 12(?) chapters. Might be more, might be less. I hope you guys like them! **

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**This oneshot is more OOC, but, I don't care! ^^ So, this one is how Pictochating isn't always fun! You Wasted Your Time is Lisbon, Ash FTW is Ashley, Maxi is Hayley, Lavender Dream is Chris, Maxi is Emo, is Sammie, (Talking about how Hayley is emo) and Wait... What, is Taylor. **

*******

**Pictochat**

A very shocking fact about Lisbon is that she has a Nintendo DS. Yeah, it's weird. A full grown woman, still playing Nintendo. What games does she play, you ask? Well, she plays those stupid anime games, Zelda, Mario Bros, Cooking Mama, (Cooking Mama FTW) and all those gore filled games. But, the thing she likes best on the Nintendo is Pictochat. It's like her crack. Every time her friends & cousins come over, like 12 year old girls, they run up to her room and Pictochat like hell. Even if they don't come over, they use WiFi and chat. They talk about everything from life to crushes. To her, it just so fun of what they can come up with. One day, she was chatting with one of her friends, Ashley. This was there conversation:

**Ash FTW:** Hey Teresa!

**You Wasted Your Time:** Hi, what's up?

**Ash FTW:** Nothing much, oh and, the gang said hi. They are getting out their Nintendo to Pictochat with us.

**You Wasted Your Time: **Awesome.

_Damn, I miss them._ Lisbon thought with a sigh. The gang was Lisbon's other friends. The gang is really, Hayley, Chris, Sam, and Taylor.

*Maxi ^^, Lavender Dream, Maxi is Emo, and Wait... What entered the chatroom*

**Maxi: **Hey, Teresa!!

**Lavender Dream: **Hi!

**Maxi is Emo:** Hello!

**Wait... What:** Hey…

**You Wasted Your Time:** Hey!!!!!

**Maxi:** Let's continue our last discussion!! We were up to you, Sammie!

**Maxi is Emo:** Do I have to!!!

**Maxi:** YUS!

**Maxi is Emo:** Fine… Danny. He's fricking hot!!

**You Wasted Your Time:** I KNEW IT!!!! Hehehe!

**Lavender Dream:** I did too.

**Wait…What:** Make that three!

**Maxi is Emo:** WHAT BOUT YOU, CHRIS!?!?

**Lavender Dream:** Victor.

**Maxi is Emo: **Oh, ok.

**Lavender Dream:** =^^=

**Maxi:** I already shared.

**All:** WE KNOW!

**Maxi:** ~^^~

**Maxi is Emo:** We heard all except Tessie!!!

**Wait… What:** Yeah, what bout you Tess?

**Ash FTW:** Who do you like?

**You Wasted Your Time:** Nyah, You already know.

**Maxi:** We wanna hear again!

**Ash FTW:** Like hell yeah!!!

**You Wasted Your Time:** …. Fine, I think I'm falling for Jane…

All: AWWW!!! SO CUTE!!!!

*I Can Read You entered the chat room*

**You Wasted Your Time:** Who's I Can Read You?

**Ash FTW:** …

**Maxi:** That's probably my friend, Bobby.

**I Can Read You:** Guess again. You Wasted Your Time knows me.

**You Wasted Your Time:** … Shit.

**Maxi is Emo:** Jane?

**I Can Read You:** BINGO!

**You Wasted Your Time:** …

**I Can Read You:** I can see your conversation.

**You Wasted Your Time:** … Nyah.

**Maxi:** OH NOES!!

**Lavender Dream:** X_x

**Wait… What:** O_O

**Maxi:** You heard EVERYTHING!??

**I Can Read You:** EVRYTHING!

**All except Lisbon:** *leave chatroom*

**You Wasted Your Time:** OF COURSE, ABANDON ME!

**I Can Read You:** *chuckles* Lisbon, it fine to tell that you love me. Cause I love you too.

**You Wasted Your Time: **…

That's when Lisbon felt something behind her. She spun around and saw Jane behind her.

"What? You? How did you? What the hell? Why are you-"

I soft, gentle kiss planted on her lips shut her up. She broke it.

"Was that for me to shut up?"

He shook his head. "That one I meant… For real."

_Dammit,_ she thought. _Why am I always speechless with him?_

A Cheshire cat grin grew across his face.

_Oh yeah, that's why. _


	2. Ice Skating

**Disclaimer: This series and the characters do not belong to me. They never will. If they did, I would make an episode where Lisbon would be in only chains and Jane would have rough… Well you get the picture, do you?**

**I got the idea of Jisbon ice skating together by looking outside of the car window and seeing a frozen pond. Hope you like it!!**

Teresa Lisbon was curled up on the right side of her couch; watching reruns of Bud About and Lou Costello and eating some chocolate ice cream. She was enjoying it, giggling to herself at every fumble, joke and screw up the duo would do. She was at total peace. A break from the CBI, snuggled into the couch, eating ice cream and TV. This was her perfect day. It was until the doorbell rang. Groaning in disapproval, she lazily rose from the couch and looked out the window to see who was there. _Dammit._ She thought. She was staring at none other that her blue eyed consultant, Mr. Patrick Jane. She opened the door.

"The CBI building better be on God damn fire for you to show up at my doorstep." She snapped.

He gave her one of his cocky grins as his reply. That's when he took in all her features. Her messy curls, her sea green top that hugged her curves and hips while cupping her breast… AT THE SAME TIME!!!! Her very dark skinny jeans shaped her legs to make them go on forever and ever and ever. He was surprised he didn't have a huge nosebleed and faint in front of her. He mentally slapped himself. _Get it together, Jane,_ the voice in his head said. _Focus on why you came here._

"Well I came by asking if you wanted to go out skating with me." He said with a signature grin. She was in a daze. He wanted to go skating… with her!?! _Did I miss anything??_ She thought to herself. She raised her eyebrow at him. He sighed and entered her house, putting away the ice cream tub, the spoon in the sink, and turned the TV off. He turned to her and grabbed her hand and tugged her out of the house. _No, I guess I didn't miss a thing._ Lisbon thought to herself as he dragged her into the car.

"LET THE HELL GO!!!!! WHY ARE YOU TAKING ME!?!?!? I DON'T WANT TO GO!!!!!!!" Lisbon bellowed as Jane got her into the car.

He sat in the driver's seat and started to drive as the petite woman next to him kept thrashing and raging with curses and struggles to get out.

"Calm down, woman, I'm not going to rape you or anything like that. Just go out and have some fun. Two good friends having some fun, what's wrong with that?" he asked.

"We are colleagues!" she snarled.

"But, we can be friends!" he said, pathetically.

She rolled her eyes, losing this battle. "Fine."

He smiled victoriously. "We are almost there."

"Nyah." was her only reply.

***

"I can't believe I let you drag me into this." Lisbon huffed as she put on her skates and watch Jane slowly get on the ice rink. He stood on it for a good minute and then slipped. He quickly got up. "I'm good." was his only reply. She chuckled and got on the ice. "Can you even skate?" she teased.

"Not that we-"

He tripped on himself again. She shook her head with a smirk as she helped him up.

"You can't do better!" he snapped.

"Oh really now?"

"Yeah!"

She took off; faster than Jane could ever skate. She jumped up and did a swirl in the air and landed gracefully on her feet. Jane jaw dropped. _Oh, DAMN SHE'S GOOD! _He thought. As she came back, his mouth was still open. She shut his jaw. "Close your mouth, flies can fly into your throat."

He blinked twice at her, still star struck. _How did she, what the hell was that? When did she learn to skate??? _His brain raced.

"Jane? Hello?????" she waved her hand in his face.

"I'm good." He replied finally.

"Okay then." Lisbon exclaimed as she started skating again; leaving Jane in the dust… Well ice to correct myself.

Jane slowly started to skate as he saw Lisbon zooming all over the rink, twirling and flipping around. He gathered up some courage to let go of the wall that he held onto and made his way to the middle of the rink. That's what Lisbon crashed into him. She was on top and Jane was under her.

"Oh, hai thar." He said like a child.

She laughed. "Hi."

They both got up. "Sorry for ramming into you."

"Oh, it was quite alright."

She smiled and went to skate again. He grabbed her hand. "I can come?"

She smiled wider. "Yes you can."

Jane and Lisbon, skating together, hand in hand. The most cutest site a single person could see. _Jane, you're a screw up but I gotta say, this was one of your best ideas, ever._ Lisbon thought as they skated, hand in hand, heart to heart.


	3. Water Balloons

**Disclaimer: *rolls eyes* It doesn't belong to me, I know. Now, can I type my flipping story?**

**I don't know, I just thought of this, don't eat meh.**

**Water Balloon Fight**

She was laughing -very rare for her- joyfully as she soaked Jane with a plump water balloon. "You SO asked for it." She teased as she chucked another balloon at his face.

…

SPLAT!!!! Hit him right in the face. The water dripped from his golden curls and eyelashes. He looked. "Okay, THAT was uncalled for, Lisbon!" he exclaimed. She stuck her tongue out. "So what?" she smirked.

His lips curled into a smile as he grabbed a water balloon. As soon as she saw that action, she grabbed three water balloons and ran. Jane chased after her. "GET OVER HERE!!!" he yelled.

The petite woman was too quick for him, dodging the sacred water balloon. He stopped dead in his tracks. _I have no water balloon; I'm an open target for her._ He thought as he watched her sprint away. She was still running until she turned back and saw him standing way back behind her. While all this was happening, Cho, Van Pelt, and Rigsby were watching from the front entrance of the CBI building. "I will give you," Rigsby said as he reached for his wallet and took out his money. "Sixty dollars if they do not kiss before they go back into the CBI building." Rigsby said to Cho with a smirk.

"I will give you sixty dollars if they do." Cho said.

Van Pelt shook her head, sadly. "You guys are so mean. Betting on a growing relationship. SHAME!" she said and hit Rigsby on the thigh.

"It is a good way to pocket money!" Rigsby said a while rubbing his leg where Van Pelt hit him.

"Yes, Rigsby, listen to your girlfriend. She knows what right." Cho smirked.

"You don't even HAVE a girlfriend!" Rigsby snapped.

"Well!" Cho said with a huff.

---

She stared at him. _He actually looks kind of cute soaked, his vest clutching on his skin like that. It- STOP! Don't fall for him, you dunce! _Her heart raced. _Hopeless romantic. _Her mind snarled. _Do what you do best._ She grinned and chucked another balloon at him. Drenched him to the bone. He ran after her. She giggled -VERY RARE- as she ran. She tripped on tree stump and tumbled on the grass. "NO!!!" she wailed. "SO DAMN CLOSE!"

That when she saw Jane. Her eyes widened. _He is going to jump on me._ She thought. She rolled over so he landed on the tree stump. "OW!!!!" he yelled, making her chuckle. He rolled over so he was facing her. He looked kind of pissed off. He jumped up and pinned her down; kneeling on her legs and his hands gripping on her shoulders. She squirmed, trying to break free. "JANE, LET GO!" she bellowed.

"Nah, don't feel like it. Guess you're trapped." He teased with a stupid smile.

Rigsby stood up for a better view. "Yes, yes. Y-E-S, YES! Get the money ready, Cho!"

Van Pelt rolled her eyes at their childish behavior.

---

Lisbon did NOT like being teased, especially by the consultant pinning her down. She growled at him and glared. "Let. Me. Go. Now. Or… I WILL SHOOT YOU!" she screamed. "Do you hear me?!?! I will! I'm not afraid of the-" She stopped lashing out when Jane pressed a feather light kiss on her lips. "Was that for me to shut up?" she asked. He shook his head. 'I've wanted to do that for a VERY long time." Rigsby grinned, ear to ear at the two. That kiss got him 60 bucks richer. "CHO!!! Look!" Cho looked with a look of defeat on his face. Jane kissed her again, this time at the base of her neck, making her squeal and try to push him off. He grinned and did it again, sending her into hysterics once again.

Cho wanted to die as Rigsby shoved his hand in his face. "Money time!" Rigsby cheered.

Cho muttered curses under his breath as he handed him the money. Rigsby smiled. They all looked to see Jane and Lisbon walking back together, without Lisbon trying to kill him. The three ran into the building and set themselves in their places at there desks; Van Pelt on the computer, Cho reading a book, and Rigsby pretended to do something important. That is when the pair came in. Lisbon had a soft, light, pink blush on her face and Jane was in a love daze. Lisbon when into her office and Jane looked for the couch. The three looked at each other, then back at the pair. Van Pelt looked at Rigsby and Cho and mouthed to them, 'They are just so cute!' Rigsby mouthed, 'And so is money' to Cho with a smirk as Cho narrowed his eyes. Van Pelt gave Rigsby the death glare. 'Stop it!' she lipped. 'You got it!' said with a wink. She rolled her eyes. _Idiots_. She thought. _Plain old idiots. _


	4. Special Talents

**Disclaimer:**** NOTHING IN THIS DAMN STORY BELONGS TO ME EXCEPT THE STORY ITSELF!!!! Don't make me eat you, because I will if I have to!!! This story may be OOC so don't yell at me saying it is cause… I'M AWARE OF THAT! The songs in story are:**

**Circle by Paramore**

**The Crimson by Atreyu**

**Special Talents**

"LISBON!!! DON'T MAKE ME BREAK THE DOOR DOWN TO THIS STUDIO, OR I WILL EAT YOU!!!!!" Hayley screamed. Lisbon rolled her eyes and let her in. "YAY!" she yelled. "We should get into the recording studio before-" Chris walked in. "Hey." Lisbon & Hayley went into the studio and put their headphones on. "Whenever your ready, Chris!" Lisbon said with a thumb up. "Okay!" she said as she started up the machine. "3, 2, 1," Hayley whispered. "Take this time!!! To realize!!!" Lisbon cooed. "That you always shed your light, in this love trail. And everything is always right!" "And I think, that's it's time. This battle must be one." Hayley continued. But you push, it aside, Push it aside, pretend that it's gone!" "This circle never ends! And it's on you! Just face it don't pretend! That it's over! This circle never ends! And it's on you! Just face it don't pretend! That it's over!" they both sang in union. Chris smiled. "You guys sound great!" They nodded in response. Hey kept singing until the music was over. They sang some more songs until Hayley took her headphones off. "I'm done for the night. If you want to keep going, Chris will keep the stuff on. You know how to turn it off?" Lisbon nodded. "Alright then, Goodnight." Hayley said as she walked the door. "Night!" Lisbon called. Lisbon sighed as she looked for a song. "Hmm, Storm to Pass, Nah. Where the Lines Overlap, not now. Hmmm... OOOOO THE CRIMSON!!!!!!" she said and put it on. She listened to the recorded intro of her guitar and waited for it to start. _3, 2, 1... _She thought. "I feel it welling up inside, and Robert Smith lied, boys do cry and with blood tears in my eyes I'm an Anne Rice novel come to life." She screamed.  
"I can't hide the monster… anymore. One can, only feel desolate for so long until one starts to change into something the mirror doesn't recognize. Metamorphosize. The darkness has been biding its time to claim its latest victim, fresh meat for carnal desires, to become what I became. I viewed the sun for the last time!" _I really shouldn't be doing this. _Jane thought as he was walking to the door that lead to the music studio. He looked through the window of the door and saw Lisbon with the headphones, singing to something that he thought was some kind of metal music. _She can scream now!??! WHAT THE HELL!?!?! _He thought as she continued.

"Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?  
Will you still kiss me the same,  
when you taste my victim's blood?  
So crimson and red,  
I feel it flowing from your lips. (Crimson and red)  
My heart is dead and so are you!

And it pulses through, the desire to change, to deconstruct all of my, all of my, past failings. But where to begin, because when you live in sin it's hard to look at saints, without them reflecting your jet black aura back on you! And all I have is hope my inner burn's not fading; I'll wipe the blood from my cheek and get on with my day!"

He watched will amusement. _That is what I call beauty and sexiness! _A voice went of in his head. _How can you not deny that?!?! _

"Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?  
Will you still kiss me the same,  
when you taste my victim's blood?  
So crimson and red,  
I feel it flowing from your lips. (Crimson and red)  
My heart is dead and so are you.

And all I have is hope  
And all I need is time  
To bury in pine under six feet of time  
The lies I told me about myself.  
Claw my way out,  
Pick the splinters from under my fingernails.  
I won't lose hope,  
I won't give in.  
just live and breathe, try not to die again.  
Just live and breathe, try not to die again.  
Just live and breathe, try not to die again.  
I try not to die again.

Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?  
Will you still kiss me the same,  
when you taste my victim's blood?  
So crimson and red,  
I feel it flowing from your lips. (Crimson and red)  
My heart is dead and so are you.

Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?  
Will you still kiss me the same,  
when you taste my victim's blood?  
So crimson and red,  
I feel it flowing from your lips. (When you taste my victim's blood)  
My heart is dead and so are you!"

She finished with a little head bang that Hayley always does after finishing a song. "DAMN! I can't believe Hayley can still breathe after finishing these songs!" she exclaimed as she looked for one more song. She turned in Jane's direction and saw him. _Oh dear Lord…_she thought. _Busted… _Jane thought.

"Jane!!" she snarled and ran after him.

"She's gonna eat me!!!" he screamed. She gave him a good fly tackle; pinning his shoulders down. "How much of that did you hear???"

"Second verse to the end." He said, with some knowledge in music talk.

She released him. "Oh, ok. Could have been worse." Lisbon said.

"WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE…" Hayley came down and saw them. She made an 'O.O' face at them. She grinned. "So cute! How long have you been dating? Tessie! You didn't tell me your consultant that you don't SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT is your boyfriend?? EPIC!!!!" she laughed!!

Lisbon narrowed her eyes at her. "I will eat you."

"Pfft, yeah right. Well sorry to disturb you!" Hayley called over her shoulder and returned to her room. Jane turned to her. "You talk about me a lot?" "No way! I mean seriously?? You!??!? Why would I talk about you? Half of the time you annoy the living shit out of me!" she snapped. "Sure, let's go with that." He smirked. "It's true!" she whined. "I should be going, sorry to disturb you." He said as he headed for the door.

"Its fine, didn't bother-" Jane turned a kissed her cheek. She was in a daze. "What… wait?" He grinned at her and left. _Why am I such an idiot with him!? _She thought as she walked into her room and laid on her bed; snuggling into her covers.

'How did it go with Jane!?" Hayley called.

"Don't you even start!" Lisbon growled.


	5. Movie Night

**Disclaimer****: These characters don't belong to me, they never will, and I like waffles. And wow! Two stories in one day!! You guys are spoiled!!!**

**My friend on DA, ~Mystiqlynx, gave me an idea for an oneshot which is a movie night one!! Hope you like it!!!! This might be a little OOC…**

**Movie Night**

Lisbon hovered around Blockbuster; trying to find a subtle movie. She looked for one she can actually watch without sleeping. _Romantic Comedies? EW! _She thought. _Who watches that crap anyway?_ She looked around the store for a good 5 minutes until she stopped short to see a curly, blond male with a three piece suit on turned away from her, looking at the comedy section. She blinked twice. _Jane? How the hell did he get here? Nah, you're seeing things. _She thought. She walked past the man. Then he spoke. "Hey, Lisbon! I never thought you would have been here!" she turned around. _Busted… _She gave a smile at him.

"Hi, Jane. What brings you here?" she asked, shyly.

"Well I wanted to rent a movie and that's what I'm going to do. What movie did you have in mind?"

"For myself, I wanted to go get a horror movie for my cousin and myself. Maybe I won't fall asleep and waste 5 bucks." She said with a sigh at the end.

The thought of her falling asleep raced into his mind like a death bomb. _She probably looks so cute when she is asleep. _His mind trailed on. _I'd pay big money to see a glimpse of her asleep! _His mind when on. A little blush rose on his cheek. Lisbon snapped in his face. "Jane? Hello!?!?" He shook his head; shaking the perverted thought out of his mind. "Sorry, I was just thinking…"

"Yeah?"

"If you wanted to see a movie with me."

"… Why?"

"We are friends, you know. Friends hang out with each other."

"I'm guessing we are going to my house, then?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Wonderful. Well, okay."

"YAY!!"

"Help me pick out a movie." They went to the horror section to see if there was anything good.

"The Golem?" Jane asked.

"Saw it." She smiled.

"Hmmm… The Birds?"

"Saw it."

"The Masque of the Red Death?"

"Saw!"

"The Exorcist, dammit!?!?"

She smiled at him. "Yes."

He stared at her. She took the movie and went to the checkout counter. He ran after her. They got the movie and when into the parking lot.

"Look, did you take your car?" she asked.

"No, I walked." He said with a smile.

"Alright, come in the car with me." Lisbon got in the driver's seat and Jane got in the passenger seat. She started up the car and turned on the radio. "Is this?" "Demonology and Heartache??" they both said at the same time. "Whoa" Lisbon breathed. "You know this song, too?"

"Hell yeah!!"

She smiled. 'That's awesome!" After that it was silence. Soon they got to her house. She opened the door to find Sammie and Chris hugging the TV.

"What the hell??" Lisbon asked.

"Lisbon! Hi, Jane! You two are on TV… DANCING!!!!" Sammie squealed. Chris giggled.

"MOVE." Lisbon roared as she faced the TV. And there it was. Jane and herself were indeed, dancing. "What the hell??" Lisbon growled.

"You guys are so perfect for each other I mean, the looks, smiles, I should shut up now." Chris said.

"Yeah, you might." Sammie added, running away to join Hayley watching TV in her room. Chris stared into the burning eyes of the petite woman next to her. "WAIT FOR ME!!!!" she screamed as she ran after Sammie. Jane snorted. "Lovely bunch you got here."

"Shut up." She popped the DVD in the DVD player and went to the kitchen to get some snacks. She came back 5 minutes later with a big bowl of popcorn and 2 Dr. Peppers.

"Dr. Pepper for you." She gave on to Jane. "And Dr. Pepper for me!" she smiled and started the movie.

"I like Dr. Pepper!" Jane laughed.

"Good!" Lisbon said.

The movie came on. Jane forgot to mention that he isn't the greatest fan of the horror genre (in fact, he HATED it) but, there is no way he would miss out on a invite to Lisbon's place to spend time with her! He stole a glance at her. She was curled up on the opposite of him, curled in ball formation, her hands at her sides and head on the right arm of the couch. A scream came from the movie making Jane jump. He heard feminine laughter and turned to see Lisbon chuckling at him. He glared at her and she just smiled. He turned back to the movie; greeted by a demon coming out of Linda Blair's mouth. Jane took a sip of his soda and another scary part came on. He coughed. "I can't drink in peace!" he growled as he ate some popcorn. Lisbon smiled and drank some Dr. Pepper. Around the end of the movie, Jane heard faint snoring. He turned and saw Lisbon was asleep. _Wow, even THIS movie wasn't scary for her??_ He thought. He turned off the TV and cleaned up everything. He poked Lisbon's side. "Wake up!" She groaned and punched him in the chest. "Ow!" She woke up. "Oh! Sorry, Jane!" she exclaimed. "It's fine!" Jane replied. 'Hey, since you didn't bring your car, I was wondering if you wanted to stay over." Lisbon said a shy tone in her voice. He smiled. "Where is it?" She led him to the room. "Goodnight, Jane." She said as she closed his door. "Goodnight, Teresa." He murmured under his breath. She walked back into her room. 'HOW DID IT GO!?!?" the girls in the other room chorused.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!?" Lisbon giggled as she went into her room, feeling very giddy.


	6. The Mall

**My writer's block died so I had the most epic idea for "Paramour." Jane and Lisbon… At the mall! Hayley and Chris are with Lisbon, too. Hehe, I can never make them alone!!!!! LOL they will be in this chapter though. The characters are not mine except Hayley and Chris.**

**The Mall**

"Yus!!!! We are at the mall!!!" Chris squealed. Hayley gave her a "what the fuck' glance and Lisbon ignored her. They all got out of the car.

"Where are we going to go?" Lisbon asked both of them. They grinned.

"HOT TOPIC!!!" Hayley screamed.

"I just go for the Twilight crap." Chris said.

"CHRIS!!!!" You traitor!!!" Hayley and Lisbon gasped.

"I just like Alice, Jacob, Carlisle, and Seth."

"YAY!" Lisbon said relieved she didn't like Bella or Edward.

"Where are going to, Lisbon? Victoria Secret?" Chris asked.

"No…"

"Then where!?!?!"

"Look, can we go in!?" Hayley budded in.

They all went inside. Hayley spotted Hot Topic. "Got to go, my store awaits." Chris giggled. "Wait for me!"

Lisbon laughed at them. _Wonder what crazy band tees Hayley will come out with. _Lisbon said as she walked into the store behind them. Hayley came out in a Linkin Park band tee. "What do you think?"

"I like it." Lisbon remarked.

Hayley went into the dressing room and came out with an Atreyu Congregation of the Damned band tee. "Hah??"

"YUS!!!" Lisbon stated. Chris popped out in a Team Jacob hoodie. "Hmm??"

"I like it." Lisbon said with a smile. "I want to get some tee shirts." She went around the whole store. "Hayley!" she called. "I found some zombie shirts!"

Hayley sprinted to the sound of Lisbon's voice. She stared at the shirts, half drooling. "Oh. My. God." She grabbed one of each and went into the changing rooms. Lisbon did the same. They both came out with on that said 'Zombie' on it on orange and yellow letters. On the bottom it said, 'The dead are among us.' It had 3 bloody zombies on it. The others shirts were dedicated to zombie movies (Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Zombieland etc.) Lisbon purchased her things and left Hayley and Chris there to buy more stuff. _I guess I should go to Victoria Secret for lingerie. _She thought making her way there. She took her iPod out and listened to it.

"HEY LISBON!!!!!" she heard a shout.

_Chris must have found a Jacob plushy at Hot Topic. _She thought. She turned around and found Jane screaming at her. Her eyes widened and she turned around and hustled away to her store. She went in. _Safe!_ She thought. She went into the bra section, feeling a little uneasy. _I should have went to Gilly Hicks_ she thought. She looked through. Pink, pink, and more pink!!!! AHHH!!!!!! Finally a black one!! She looked at size. D30… _My breasts are not THAT big!_ She thought. _Maybe they got one in C30… _She looked around. Yes! She picked it up. Yup, this was it! She took that and purchased it. She didn't take a bag and put it in her Hot Topic bag_. Hmm… Now w- Oh God, Jane found me. _She was about to run away when her body moved TOWARDS him. Her body was a traitor.

"Hey, Lisbon." He looked down at her bag. "One bag? And from Hot Topic too? Wow."

"Yeah." Was all she could say.

"So I was wondering if-"

"LISBON!!!!"

"Oh God."

Hayley took a black bra from Victoria Secret and wore it on her head.

"HEY!!" she yelled. "Oh hi, Jane."

Lisbon face palmed.

"Hi." Chris ran in with a pink bra on her head.

"Let's go get something to eat!" Lisbon suggested.

"PIZZA." Jane, Hayley, and Chris chorused.

"Sure."

They all settled in the food court. Jane and Lisbon were alone while Hayley and Chris got the pizza.

"What did you get?" Jane asked.

"Woman stuff."

"Can I-"

"No!"

"Please."

"No."

"Fine, you leave me no choice." He went in and kissed her.

_WHAT THE FUCK!?!?_ Lisbon thought.

"AWWW SO CUTE!!" Chris squealed.

Hayley made the O.O face. She put the pizza down on the table. "Ahem!!!"

They broke the kiss, Lisbon blushing and Jane smirking.

They ate the pizza in silence. Then, Jane hand trailed up her thigh in a way to tease her. She squealed. Hayley and Chris gave her a WTF look. She just gave a small smile. After they finished, Chris and Hayley went back shopping and Jane and Lisbon lounged.

"You know you liked it."

"What?"

"The kiss and when I touched your thigh."

"Keep telling yourself that."

"Oh, so if I did this," He trailed arm around her waist. "And decided to do this," he kissed her neck. "You wouldn't care?"

All she did was blush.

"That's what I thought, too." He smirked at her and kissed her neck again.

"It's fascinating the way your mind works." She said at last.

"I get that a lot."


	7. Magical Fingers of Heaven

**Jane and Lisbon don't belong to me. This idea just came to me. Hope you like it.**

Lisbon opened the door and groaned. She walked in to see Sammie and Hayley watching TV. She sat down with them and groaned again. "What are you guys watching?"

"Wipeout!" they cheered. She watched with them. "Hey, I don't want to sound like a complete pussy but, if I told you that my back hurt so much, would you call me a wuss?" Lisbon asked.

The two looked at each other, then back at Lisbon.

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Gee, thanks."

"Anytime."

The doorbell rang. Lisbon got up with a groan and went to answer the door. She opened it. "Jane, what the hell!?!?" She asked.

He went inside the house. "Oh my God, Wipeout!!!" he sat down with Hayley and Sammie and watched with them. Lisbon face palmed. Call her a hypocrite because she sat with them. Hayley turned and realized Jane was with them. She nudged Sammie, telling her like, 'Let them have a moment.' The duo left the living room to hang out with Chris and Taylor. They left Jane and Lisbon alone. Lisbon got up to get some water for Jane and herself. "Ow." She mumbled as she got up, and limped over to the kitchen. Jane watched her as she came back. She gave him a glass and herself and sat down. "Ow."

"Hey, are you alright, Lisbon?"

"Perfect."

"Then walk."

She stared. She got up. "Ow." She limped from the couch to the kitchen and back. She sat back down. "See, I'm fine."

"When was the last time you got a massage?"

"What?"

"A massage."

"Well, never had, never will."

Jane crept behind her. "What are going to – Oh…" she groaned.

He rolled his thumbs on the creases of her back. He was amazed on how soft her skin was like. _Like silk _He thought. _Just like her hair. _ He did her back for 5 minutes and then moved his hands to her shoulders. She moaned a satisfied moan. Meanwhile in Hayley's room, Hayley, Sammie, Taylor, and Chris overheard Lisbon's moans.

"HOLY SHIT IS THEY HAVING SEX!!?!?!?" Taylor yelled.

"No, you idiot." Sammie said.

"She's just pissed that Charlie got knocked off." Hayley added.

"NOT CHARLIE!!!!" Chris hollered.

"Yes, Charlie." Taylor smiled.

"I love Charlie."

"I do too."

"What bout, Apollo?" Sammie asked.

"Like hell yes!!!" Chris yelled.

They all high fived each other.

---

Jane convinced Lisbon to lie down to make his life easier when massaging her. She was fine with it because she was enjoying it so much. She almost was on the urge of purring as he worked his magical fingers. He went for her hips; kneading them as she squirmed and giggled. He smirked at her wiggling in his grasp.

"You could have told me you were ticklish." He smiled.

"Why? So you can use that to get away with anything you want?"

"… Thanks for the idea."

"Jane!"

"Kidding!"

"Good, now, keep going."

"Believe me; you don't have to tell me to keep going. I'll go for as long as you like."

She sighed and stretched herself out.

---

"Okay, they are so not watching Wipeout!" Sammie giggled.

"Are they having-?" Taylor began.

"NO!!!" Hayley and Chris chorused.

"Oh, good."

They all smiled.

"What do you think they are doing?" Sammie asked.

Hayley slowly let her room to see. 10 seconds later she closed her door and squealed. "Jane is giving Lisbon a massage!!!"

They all looked at her.

…

"HOLY CRAP!!!!" they all yelled and threw into a fit of giggles.

"That is so romantic!" Chris said in a sing-song voice.

"I wish my boyfriend would do that for me." Taylor pouted.

"Two things, Jane and Lisbon aren't going out and… YOU DON'T HAVE ONE!!!" Hayley said.

"True." Taylor agreed.

They all laughed at her.

---

In about 10 minutes later, Jane finished. Lisbon sat up, contently. She thanked him and invited him to sit. They watched the rest of Wipeout and amazingly, she felt 12 times better. _Jane should work at one of those massage places. _She thought. _I would totally be his best customer, that's one thing for sure…_Hayley and Chris came down. "HEY GUYS!!" they giggled.

"Hi?" Lisbon responded.

The duo got some popcorn and hurried back to Hayley's room.

"They heard that all didn't they?" Lisbon asked

"Yup." Jane replied.


	8. Camping

**Disclaimer: ****I will eat you now. *noms your face* Jane and Lisbon are Bruno's not mine. Now, let me type before I forget what I want to… I forgot…**

*******

**I REMEMBER NOW!!!!! You all are going to like this one! :D **

Camping

Never let Jane talk you into camping when he only packs one tent. NEVER. It was my mistake because Chris and Taylor were home. They pushed me out of the house with a sleeping bag, some clothes for sleeping, food, water, and my iPod. Well, lest they were nice enough to give me all that, especially my iPod. If they haven't I would have listen to Jane singing "Bad Romance" and other songs way off key. Soon, we got out of the car and into the wilderness. I clutched my belongings for dear life. I checked my watch. 1:00 pm. It's going to be a long day. We hiked for some time silently, (well, I had my iPod on so, you can't really say silent) until Jane screamed.

"Ahhhhh!!!!!" he screeched.

"What!?!?!" I said, fully alarmed.

"A LIZARD!!!!!" he hollered and pointed. The lizard was harmless. I stared blankly at him. Then, I patted him on the shoulder. "There, there, Jane. Let's go."

He nodded and led the way once again. At about 5 pm, we stopped at our campsite. Jane tried putting up the tent with effort but, failed. I told him to let me do the tent and for him to get the firewood. He left and I got the tent up, twice as better than Jane can ever do. I smiled at my work. Then, I got my stuff settled in. I called up Sammie, telling her I didn't get mauled by a bear.

"Are you SURE!?!?" she asked.

"Yup, I got to go."

"K, bye."

I hung up. _I will be the one mauling the bear._ I smirked to myself. I went outside. I marveled the view. Since we were around a cliff, we were able to see the crystallize waters and the beauty of the sunset. I breathed. _Wonderful._ I smiled. I must have been so captivated by the beauty because I almost leaped off the cliff when someone grabbed me from behind. I spun around on my heel; ready to push a bear in the snout. Two devilish eyes stared back at me, with a mischievous leer.

"You little son of a gun." She glared.

"I get that a lot." He smirked at her.

"Don't ever do that again!"

"No promises."

She glared as released his grip, walking back to the tent. He followed her. "We can have food now?" Jane asked.

"Yes."

We took out the stuff we packed.

"Taylor only gave me a fricking chocolate bar!?!?! WHAT?!?!!" I picked up the bar. "Well, food is food." I nibbled at it violently. Jane stared enviously.

"Do you have another-?"

I threw an extra one at him.

"Thanks." He ate it.

As we finished eating a crappy dinner, I quickly checked my watch. "Already 7:30? Wow."

Jane grabbed my wrist (make me hold in a shudder) with the watch to see as well. "Wow is right."

I took her arm back and got up. I walked over to the tent.

"Where are you going?" Jane called.

"To get changed!" I replied.

"Oh, okay then."

I hurried inside the tent and changed from my tee and slacks to a tank top that showed a lot of… cleavage and some black shorts. I took out my slick ponytail and shook it out. _Ahh, I feel like a normal woman. _I gave a small giggle at the thought of myself normal. I put her iPod in my pocket just incase I needed it and walked out of the tent. When I came out, I caught Jane doing a double take with wide eyes. _Whoa, I must thank Sammie for giving Lisbon those clothes. _Jane thought with a smirk. I sat down with the 'If you say anything, I will pound your ass so hard you will bleed' look. He kept smirking.

"Where did you get that top? I never thought a woman like you would wear something like THAT."

It was my turn to be embarrassed. I blushed a small pink shade.

"This was what Sammie gave me."

Jane got up. "I'm going to change."

"You do that." Lisbon said, putting my ear buds in and turning on my iPod.

Jane went into the tent.

_I feel calm. It's a miracle._ I thought while taking in the melody of "Turn It Off." I literally almost fell asleep by the lull of Josh Farro's guitar, until a gentle breeze on my cheek. I turned. Nothing… Weird. I turned back to the view on the lake, glistening in the sunset. I turned off my iPod to enjoy the view more. I breathed in the air. I sighed. I went back into the tent. I opened it up and gave a 'what the fuck' face. Jane was only in boxers, (which clutched at his ass) and he tousled his boyish blond curls. He was giving me a seductive smile. Now I knew what he wanted.

"No sex."

He gapped at me. "Why??"

"Because I said so and I'm your boss. So, no."

"I did all this for nothing!"

"Yes you did."

I looked outside at the charcoal black sky. I checked my watch with a yawn. 9:00 it read. I yawned again. Stupid yawns. I felt something rub up against my side. It was Jane.

"Are you tired?" he asked me.

"No I'm good." I lied. I was tired, but I'm not going to sleep until he does.

He stared humming some kind of sound in my ear. A lullaby. I shifted away from him.

"You don't want to hear my song?"

"No I don't!" I snapped with a small yawn.

"Why don't you go asleep?"

"CAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO DO SOMETHING BAD!!!!"

He stood there like I just schooled him. "Oh, okay."

"Sorry." I said with a small smile. You should just stamp the word 'fail' on my forehead while you're at it!

He smirked at me. "It's fine."

_He's planning something. He's smirking. _My thoughts said, pointing the obvious out.

"What are you planning?" I asked meekly.

"Nothing." He took a step closer.

I moved back, kind of frightened. "Jane."

He dashed behind me. I did a stunned double take in my temporally daze. He grabbed me by the waist, pulling me down with him. I thrashed once we hit the ground.

"Let go!!!" I yelled.

He smirked as I felt his hands traveling up my t shirt and placed them on my sides. I shuddered. His hands were so warm and soft. I felt his hands slowly tracing at them, in a teasing way. _Why is he teasing me like this? This is torture! Screw limb pulling machines, this is much worse. _I tried to squirm away from this but, he squeezed my sides, making squeal. I covered my mouth. _Fuck. _He chuckled at me.

"I love you, too." He said, joyous of the reactions he was getting from me. He did it again making me squeal harder. I thrashed.

"Stop it!!!!" I punched at his chest.

He immediately let go of me. I rolled over onto my sleeping bed as he rolled closer to me.

"Sweet God." I said.

"You liked it. Even though you hated it, you liked it at the same time."

"So? You liked my reaction."

"I never thought you would… squeal."

"Well, I'm sorry then!"

"No, it's was fine. I was actually happy that you make some kind of girlish sound."

I blushed. "I'm a woman; I have to make some kind of feminine sound."

"And it is very cute." He grinned.

"I get that a lot."

"Really now?"

"No, just kidding."

"Oh, okay then."

I went into my sleeping bag, checking the time one more time. 11:00 pm. Wow, time flies when you are having fun. I snuggled into the bag and turned to Jane who was already in the sleeping bag, staring at me. And he was surprising very close to me. He was so close that if he wanted to, he could poke the hell out of me all night.

"Goodnight, Jane."

"Goodnight, Lisbon." He nuzzled my arm with his curls, making me smile.

"Alright, Jane. Stop." I said with a small giggle.

"Okay." He smiled and fell asleep.

***

"Are we there yet??" Jane whined.

"Almost there." I called.

5 minutes later, I parked at my place. Sammie ran out the door. "DID YOU GUYS DO IT!?!?!"

I blushed. "No!!!"

"Did you get mauled by a bear?" Hayley asked.

"No." Jane replied.

"Oh, good. DID YOU GUYS DO IT!?!?"

I face palmed. _No matter what, they are my fails. _


	9. Cheater

**Disclaimer:**** HAI THAR FAN OR "PARAMOUR"! I made the next chapter, yus! I hope that you like it!! ((And if you don't I had writer's block wile doing it!)) DE ARIMUS! **

Cheater

This was the first time Lisbon cried in decades. She was with Chris and Hayley so that made her feel so much better. They tightly hugged her; they did their best to try to help her. They kept watching the horror on the surveillance camera Sammie installed in the CBI building; full focus on Jane. Lisbon watched as her blonde consultant make out with a brunette she never saw. They really got into it, I mean REALLY into it. She howled in rage as Chris turned off the TV and smacked the remote down… Hard. Hayley blew up. "THAT COLD HEARTED BASTARD!!! HE KNEW YOU LOVED HIM AND HE MAKES OUT WITH HER!?!?!? I OUGHT TO KILL HIM!" Hayley raged, getting louder on every sentence. Tears slipped down her cheeks. "I can't believe him. And I actually liked him! I thought he was 'the one' Lisbon. THE ONE!" Hayley went on. Chris sighed. "I can't believe him as well. But, the world isn't fair, guys. We have to let it go."

"After what he did? No." Hayley barked.

"We must. The hatred will feed off our souls and hurt us even more."

"…. What the hell have you been reading?" Lisbon asked.

"Nothing, Taylor told me that."

They all gave a small chuckle.

***

_We have to let it go_

The words that Chris said lingered in her brain as she entered the building. She soon came face to face to her consultant. Her cheating consultant. He grinned a 100 mega watt grin. "Hey, Lisbon!"

She turned to her office with a glare. She locked her door; she means business. He gave her a 'what the hell?' look. She glared with a snarl and went back to her work. _I'm never going to let this go._ She thought, bitterly.

"Hey, Lisbon, you okay?"

She resumed her paperwork, making no eye contact with him.

"C'mon, Lisbon. Talk to me."

She did not answer him. She thought about the brunette, trying to figure out who she was. Jane got off his couch and tried the door. Locked, of course.

"LISBON! What's wrong!?!" he moaned.

"EVERYTHING!" she spat.

He backed away from the door. _She just needs to cool down for a bit. _He thought. He went back to the couch with a shaky feeling.

_**We have to let it go**_

_Get out of my head!_

_**We have to let it go**_

_Go!_

_**YOU have to let it go!**_

_I CAN'T!!!!_

***

Lisbon survived her whole day with Jane and the team. She arose from her chair, taking her stuff and made her way to the elevator until someone grabbed her by the waist. She froze, holding her breath. The person's head laid on the groove of her neck.

"What's wrong?"

"Let go and cut your bullshit."

He released her and she turned to him.

"You don't know. You were too cheerful that last couple of days so I asked a friend to install a camera here to check on you. Last night I saw you… making out with some girl."

His eyes widened.

"I cried and cried, watching it. I cried myself to sleep last night. I thought you loved me. Guess that was a bullshit lie as well." She turned around to go home.

"Wait!" she stopped.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking right. I was drunk and I brought the woman her. We were drunk when we made out. I wasn't as passionate and caring with that kiss than I would be with you."

She craved to give him the middle finger and say 'Good fucking game, Jane. I almost believed you there.' But she found herself saying. "Yeah, sure. Okay."

He went up to her and kissed her softly and gently. His kiss was feather light and sugary, making anyone have an adrenalin rush. She could take in the information quick enough but followed along.

***

Hayley, Taylor, Chris, and Sammie watched the two from the camera hooked up to the TV. They widened their green, brown, and blue eyes at the screen.

"Awww!" Sammie was the first to speak.

"I think I'm going to cry." Hayley smiled.

"Smooth, Hay." Chris winked.

"Guys?"

"Yeah, Tay?" Hayley asked.

"Are they supposed to be on the couch half naked?"

The girls stared at the TV.

"Are they-" Taylor started.

"Yes, this time they are." Chris said, blankly.

Sammie groaned in disgust.

"Ew!!" Hayley moaned.

"Liz's boobs are huge!"

"TAYLOR!!!" the girls laughed.

"I think Jane likes them because he is s-"

"SAMMIE!!!!"

"But he is s-"

"Shut up!!!!" they turned to the screen. "Oh, God. You were right, Sammie!"

"I know~!"

They heard Lisbon moan and groan.

"OH GOD!! CHANGE THE CHANNEL! CHANGE THE CHANNEL!!! They are getting too into it!!!!!" Chris screeched.

They all flailed around to get the remote and changed the channel to a Sham wow commercial.

"I wonder what would happen if Lisbon knew that we watched part of Jane and her sex scene." Hayley mumbled.

"Hay?" Chris asked.

"Yeah?"

"You got one vivid imagination, did you know that?"

"Yus, I did."


	10. The Haunted House

**Disclaimer: ****The Mentalist, Jane, Lisbon, or anyone in the show does not belong to me. And they never will belong to me. **

**I got this idea from my love of all things horror. Hope you like it. :)**

The Haunted House

"Lisbon! I don't want to go in there!!" Jane moaned. He dragged me to the county fair. Just where I want to be on my Sunday afternoon… NOT! Since he made me get my ass here, I'm making him get his ass into the Haunted House to see him piss himself.

"C'mon, you big baby! Look at that 10 year old girl! SHE'S not afraid to go in there!" I dragged him over to the line. I woman about in her late teens looked up at us. Her eyes were all black. _Contacts._ I thought. She wore a purple and black striped shirt. She wore black skinny jeans as well to complete the eerie effect.

"Welcome to the Haunted House." She hissed. As she talked, you could see her fangs. She wore heavy black make up all over her face.

"Come on down, if you dare to." She continued.

"Let's go!" I smiled a little as I sat Jane down in a cart. I sat down next to him. "Whenever you are ready!" I called.

She smiled and pulled at the lever to start the cart. I saw her fingers had wolf like claws at the tips of her fingers.

"Hope you make it out alive!" she called as we went inside.

"Thanks." Jane whispered hoarsely.

I chuckled. The house was pitch black. I was waiting for a big sweaty guy with an ax to come and try to kill us and that happened. Jane screamed like a girl as I laughed at the man's attempt to scare me. We made a sharp right turn and faced Jason and Michael Myers coming at us with weapons beyond your wildest imagination. I laughed twice as hard and Jane was screaming louder. We went inside to see 3 cannibal men eating a woman.

"I'm going to die. I'm going to die." Jane chanted.

I laughed at the fake gore. _Oh, God. This is too good. _From the back of the cart, a vampire that just had a bloodlust grabbed Jane from the back. Jane was on the verge of crying and I was literally falling off the cart laughing so hard. As the vampire was loosing his grip on Jane, a white werewolf, all bloody and dirty, jumped onto the cart facing us. I was surprised Jane didn't faint yet. He was still conscious, thank God. The wolf snapped its jaws at me. I slapped its muzzle.

"That is not how you treat a woman!" I snapped.

The wolf grabbed its injured muzzle and ran away from us. The vampire ran as well. That's when a Resident Evil zombie dropped from the ceiling and came toward us. Jane squealed and hid behind my back; grabbing a hold of me so I wouldn't move. I rolled my eyes at him and turned to the zombie.

"Here, zombie, zombie, zombie!" I taunted

The zombie fell for the taunt cause it when closer to us. I smirked and took out the chainsaw I stole from Jason. The zombie looked at the chainsaw and ran. I jump out of the cart, dragging Jane with me.

"I'm walking the rest." I smiled.

Then, crows, thousands of them flew towards us.

"COME AND GET IT, BITCHES!!!!!" I hollered as I waved the chainsaw around. The crows fought me, but slowly retreated. I cackled. I covered my mouth at the wicked noise.

"Oh, God. Hayley and Taylor's evilness is rubbing off on me." I started walking again. That's when men with tons of weapons came out.

"Time for the grand finale!" I giggled, taking the chainsaw out.

I battled them for a good ten minutes until they were too afraid to hurt me. They ran off. I looked at Jane. He was on the floor. He fainted. I picked him up and slapped him.

"What!?!?" he asked.

I smiled. "Let's go." We reached the exit, Jane in my left arm, my newly acquired chainsaw in my right hand.

"I'm guessing that I'm going to drive now?" I asked and he nodded at me.

**Damn, this was a short one! Well, whatever, I seriously don't care. I want to know what you guys think of this one. I thought it was alright. I could have done better but:**

**It's like 10:20 pm **

**I have writers block**

**I'm VERY tired**

**I have homework to do**

**I'm a fail**

**I am lazy today**

**So, I really hoped you liked this one. ((This was probably my crappiest one.)) Please review; you can critic me if you like. Don't worry about hurting my feelings; I deal with a lot of judgmental people in my life. Click that green button to make me happy, please! **


	11. Tickle Fight

**Disclaimer:**** Characters are not mine. I fail, yes I know. I just got this epic idea, cause I was talking to a friend about the topic and she gave me this idea. Thanks, Christina!!! If you don't like it, then please do us all a favor a please don't read it. Please, make an author happy and click that green button on the bottom to them me what you think. I hope you like it. It may not be the greatest because I had a shitty day today…**

Tickle Fight ^^ (Fail name)

"I has won… again." Hayley grinned at Chris, taking her king.

"I fail!" she yelled, holding her head in her hands.

This had been the third time Hayley beat Chris in chess. Lisbon and Taylor were watching TV and Sammie was in the kitchen, raiding the family refrigerator. Lisbon turned to the two chess players.

"Shhh!"

"Sorry." Chris muttered.

Sammie came back with a butt load of chocolate and vanilla ice cream. She set down the tubs and spoons on the table. The girls smiled at each other.

"MOVIE NIGHT!!!!!" they squealed and flailed around. They each grabbed a spoon and a tub of ice cream and sat down. Lisbon came with 3 movies and laid them on the table.

"I have Transformers, Made of Honor, and Resident Evil. Which one?"

"I love you." Hayley smiled, hearing Resident Evil.

The girls looked at each other, then back at Lisbon with a grin. She put in Resident Evil and sat down next to Taylor and Chris with her tub of ice cream.

"WOO!!!!!" Sammie and Hayley screamed.

The rest of the girls rolled their eyes in a teasing way.

"That was fun!" Chris smiled as the movie ended.

The girls cleaned up and headed to Taylor's room. That's when the doorbell rang.

"Go up, girls. It's probably my consultant." Lisbon said with an eye roll.

They nodded and went ahead. Lisbon went to the window to see who it was. Jane, of course. Who else would want to annoy the crap out of her? She went to open the door.

"Hi, Jane. What do you want?"

"I missed the party and the ice cream??" he asked, walking into her house.

She sighed in defeat. "Yeah."

"That sucks" he sat on the couch.

She sat next to him. "So, what brings you here?"

"I was bored."

"And I'm supposed to entertain you?"

"Yup, pretty much."

"… How may I ask?"

He shrugged. "I'm not sure."

She sighed and put her feet up on the coffee table. "Any ideas?"

He got up. "Going to get some water." He went to the kitchen. He came back. As he came back, his hand brushed the arch of her foot, making her squeal. She tugged her legs back. He grinned at her reaction. She blushed as if saying 'Shut up.'

"I think someone's ticklish." He taunted.

"No I'm not, your hand was cold!" she protested.

He grabbed her hand. "Do they feel cold to you?"

She felt his hand. It was warm alright. _I'm in a deep load of shit._ She thought.

"Nyah." She rolled her eyes.

He grinned and poked at her side, making her squeal again.

"STOP!!" she moaned.

He smiled and stopped poking her. He had a better idea. He took her by the waist and pulled her in his chest. She wriggled.

"C'mon, Jane. Please don't do this."

_She begged. She just begged._

He smirked on her neck. "Nah, you just helped me be entertained." He put his hands under her shirt and started to make slow, small circles on her stomach. Her eyes widened and she squirmed.

"Jane, *giggle* we could do *giggle* something else like *giggle* chess! *giggle*."

"Nah, I think this is fun." He started to use scratch at her stomach, sending her into hysterics.

"AHAHAHA!!!" she laughed. "STAHAHAHAP!!" she squealed, flailing around.

"You know you like it." Jane said seductively.

"HAYLEY! CHRIS! HELP!!!!" she laughed and yelled.

Since the girls overheard what was happening to Lisbon, they didn't bother to ruin the moment.

"Lisbon, you're strong, you don't need our help!" Sammie teased.

"Yeah, what can we do?" Chris played along.

"You guys suck!" she screamed.

As she begged for help, Jane moved his hands to her ribs and clawed at them with his nails. She stopped debating with her cousins for a second and her laughter doubled. She flailed around and tried to pull Jane's hands off her but, failed. She finally stopped fighting and gave in to the torture and endured it. He grinned and whispered in her ear. "I'm not finished yet."

She squirmed at the thought of enduring more of this. She sighed.

"Once more and that's it, or I will shoot you."

"If I don't stop, you are too weak to shoot me."

"Shut the hell up before I change my-"

Knowing the woman's anatomy well, Jane knew the most sensitive part of a woman is where her waist ends and hips begin so, that is where he set his final blow. He kneaded his hands right in that area. Her eyes widened.

"Oh my God!!!" she yelled with a loud laugh.

Soft laughter poured from her. Nothing louder than that. He was shocked. She wasn't going into hysterics. Maybe she was used to it there? He stopped.

"I'm not bored anymore." He got off her.

"Now it's my turn."

He spun around to see Lisbon standing up.

"You had your fun, now it's my turn."

"Lisbon, don't. It just was a joke. Friends do that to one another and don't get revenged."

"Well, I think I should. It's only fair."

She started to corner him.

'Lisbon, come on. There is something called forgiveness."

"Nah…" she looked at him.

"Please don't hurt me."  
She giggled. "My revenge is complete."

He stood up. "What?"

"All I wanted to see were you pissing your pants. And well…" she pointed at his soaked pants.

"Of course everything happens to me." Jane said flatly.

Lisbon smiled. "I'll let you borrow some sweats. She went to go get some for him. She gave him them and he changed in the bathroom. He came out minutes later. She grinned.

"Better than your slacks." She grinned.

"Much more comfortable." Jane replied.

"Oh, and Jane?"

"Yeah?"

She blushed before talking. "I actually did have fun." She said shyly.

Jane grinned. "I thought so, too."

Lisbon blushed harder and punched his arm. "Don't be a know it all."

"I love you, too!" Jane yelled.

She laughed. "Alright then, prove it."

He kissed her nose. "Hmm."

"That will do… for now." She winked at him.

He smiled. _That woman was such an amazing creature sometimes._


	12. Dances With Wolves

**Disclaimer: ****This does not belong to meh. You must die now because you fail. Thank you. ^^ R&R plz or I with eat your beloved face :)**

Dances with Wolves

"Lisbon! You got mail!" Hayley yelled from the computer.

Lisbon came down from the stairs and looked at her email:

_Lisbon-_

_Tonight, will be our CBI ball._

"Crap, Sammie! Get my good clothes out!" Lisbon called.

Sammie was already running up the stairs.

"You are going to impress Jane!" Hayley said in a singsong voice.

"NO!" Lisbon kept reading.

_We strongly advise for you to look formal and professional. For the ball, you MAY bring along TWO family members, max. _

Hayley grinned. Lisbon rolled her eyes.

_The party will start at 7:00 sharp. Be there at least 15 minutes early. PLEASE DON'T ARRIVE LATE. That sets a bad example for us. Thank you._

_-Minelli_

Lisbon's eye twitched. Hayley grinned. "BRING MEH WITH YOU!" Hayley begged.

"NOES!" Lisbon retreated to her room. She checked the clock. 2:00?!?!? She ran around in tiny circles in her room. That's when her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Please."

"FINE, HAYLEY!" she snarled and hung the phone up.

The phone rang again.

"Hello!?!"

"Can Taylor come?"

"YES!" she hung up again.

The phone buzzed and she screamed.

"WHAT NOW HAYLEY!?!?" she screamed.

"…Hi?"

"… Oh hi, Jane."

"… Not gonna ask. Hey you got the email?"

"Yeah."

"You going?"  
"Have to."

"Yeah, want me to pick you up?"

"No, it's f-"

Taylor ran into her room and grabbed the phone. "We will gladly accept your offer!"

"Lovely." He hung up. Taylor hung up and gave Lisbon her phone back. She ran away after that to get ready. Lisbon sighed and shook her head. She went to her closet.

_I'm not wearing a dress._ She found a jade green blouse; pretty formal and her black slacks. _Shower time. _She walked into the bathroom to take a shower. She felt the hot water pound at her back. It said the same words as she thought.

_You're blushing, you're blushing…_

She stepped out of the shower, feeling so alive. She checked the clock. 4:00??? Wow. She went into her room to change. _I have no formal shoes :( _ She thought. She went into Hayley's room.

"Hayley, you got any formal shoes?" she saw Hayley styling her fringe. Bad time to ask her. When she is doing her hair and you ask her something, she will eat you. Thankfully, Hayley threw some spiked 4 inch heels at her.

"Thanks!" she went back to her room.

She sat down on her bed and put them on. She looked down at them.

_Least they cover my toes. Didn't do shit to them yet. _She thought bitterly. She jumped off her bed and walked to her mirror, gracefully. _WHERE THE HELL IS MY EYE SHADOW!?!? … Taylor! _She ran to Taylor's room to see her putting on a light rose colored dress.

"Where is my eye shadow?!?!" Lisbon glared.

Taylor went to her nightstand and threw it to her. Lisbon ran back to her room checking the time. 5:00. She draped eye shadow on her eyes for that smoky emo effect and plastered some neutral colored lipstick on. She grinned. _Oh hell yeah! Now, the hair. _She took her raven hair out of the ponytail. She combed it out. _Hmmmmmm… AH-HA! _She put it back into a ponytail, but style some stands to drape down on her cheeks.

"YAY!" she grinned happily. She looked down at her nails. Chocolate brown _Thank Jesus Chris forced me to get them done today._ She sat downstairs and waited for her cousins. Hayley came down first. She was wearing her usually one-eye-covering-emo fringe with the tips dyed black. She put silvery eye shadow to make her reddish brown eyes pop. She wore no blush, mascara, or lipstick. She wore a black pixie cut dress that was ripped. To top it off, she wore her spiky boots. Literally, there were spikes all over the boots. Lisbon shook her head.

"God, I don't understand you."

Hayley plopped down next to her. "I know."

Taylor came down next. She wore an elegant dusty rose colored dress and white peep toes. She had red blush, red lipstick and purple eye shadow. She even had mascara on! She sat next to them.

"It's 6:30…" Taylor whined.

"Let's play Scrabble!" Lisbon laughed.

"No! I fail at that game!!" Hayley moaned.

The doorbell rang.

"YAY!!!!" Hayley and Taylor screamed and ran for the door.

"JANE!!!!!" they squealed.

He smirked at them and hugged them. They giggled.

"Hai dere." They all said at once and let go of each other.

"Lisbonbon?!" Taylor looked around for her.

"Here." Lisbon chimed in with a small smile.

Jane's eyes widened and jaw dropped a bit.

"Lis-Lis-Lisbon you look HAWT!!!!" he teased her, wanting to see some color on her cheeks. He got exactly what he wanted because the blood was rushing to her cheeks. "Jane!" she yelled.

He grinned with a 'Mission Accomplished' face on.

"Let's go!" Hayley and Taylor yelled as they got in the back of the car. Lisbon shook her head and walked into the passenger seat. Moments later, Jane was starting up the car and going to the CBI building.

"Ew! Pop music." Lisbon groaned and changed the radio to a hard rock station.

"YUS!!!" Hayley said, singing the words to the song playing. Hayley and Lisbon high fived. Taylor gapped. "EW!!!"

Hayley's jaw dropped. "You don't like rock? SHAME!"

"No, I don't. I like pop and rap."

Lisbon gasped. "Shame, Taylor! SHAME!"

"I don't like hard rock either." Jane agreed.

Lisbon and Hayley gasped as Taylor gave a 'Thank you' to Jane.

"What?"

"Hard rock is awesome!!!!" Hayley said.

"Yeah!" Lisbon agreed.

"All they do is scream random words!"

"That's more metal but some hardcore rockers scream." Hayley corrected.

"And, they're screaming is amazing. Well, it's more growling to them." Lisbon smirked at Jane.

"So? The guitar is just impulsive!"

"Oh, fuck." Hayley mumbled.

Lisbon blew up. "NO IT IS NOT!! I play electric guitar and it is **NOT **impulsive!"

Jane's eyes widened. "Sorry, sorry. Did not know you played guitar."

"Electric guitar, smart one!"

"Electric." Jane turned to Taylor. "Is she on PMS?" he whispered.

"JANE!" she growled but couldn't help to smile. "Keep your eyes on the road!"

"You got it, princess."

"PRINCESS!?!? SINCE WHEN AM I 'PRINCESS!??!'"

"Yeah, she is on her PMS stage." Taylor laughed.

10 MINTUES LATER….

"ARE WE DERE YET!?!?!" Hayley moaned.

"NO!!!" Jane and Lisbon screamed in unison.

"Awww…"

"Oh my God, we are here!!" Taylor screamed and pointed to the building.

Lisbon stared and put her hood up on her hoodie. Jane saw her.

"Oh, you are SO not wearing THAT! It's a formal dance! Not some bar!!" he grabbed her waist and started tugging it off. Her core burned at the contact. She tried her hardest to fight of that… feeling.

"Noes!!!" she yelled and grabbed at his hands.

Taylor and Hayley watched in amusement.

_This is going to be a fun night. _They both thought and nodded at each other.

"These are my cousins, Taylor and Hayley,"

"Hi." They both smiled at Minelli.

He grinned a little. "Hi." He shook their hands.

Taylor left to go to the dance floor to find some guys and Hayley ran to the DJ requesting her favorite songs. Lisbon snorted at them.

"Lovely bunch you got there." Minelli laughed.

"Oh yeah."

He grinned. He was searching for someone.

"Looking for your girlfriend?"

"Yup."

She was shocked. "Leave you to it." She walked away to restore peace to the havoc her cousins brought. Surprisingly, no one was hurt, thank God. She watched Taylor use her flirtatious powers on an attractive guy. It was working a hell of a lot. Hayley was with the DJ, singing along to every song he played.

"Hey, Lisbon!"

"Van Pelt, Rigsby. About damn time."

They grinned. Van Pelt was in a fiery red gown with a white belt choking at her waist. She wore little makeup, she looked better without it. Rigsby was in a brownish suit with a blue tie and black dress shoes. She smiled at them. _They were cute together, if only… STOP IT, TERESA! It won't even happen!!!_

"Go enjoy yourselves." She smiled.

"Um… sure?" Van Pelt questioned. She tugged Rigsby along.

"She is in a good mood." Rigsby whispered to Grace.

"Yeah…"

That's when Cho came in. He wore a light blue suit with a dark blue tie and brown dress shoes. He was holding someone's hand. A woman's hand. Lisbon jaw dropped. _He has a date too!?!? Maybe it's his sister or something. Oh, screw it! Everyone has a date 'cept me! Even Taylor got to dance with a pretty hot guy. And that DJ keeps staring at Hayley with those eyes and Hayley keeps smiling with him. Wow I fail when it comes to love. _

"Hey Lisbon!"

She snapped back into reality.

"Hey, Cho. Who's the lucky woman?" she teased.

"My old time friend," he held her closer to him, "Cassandra."

"Hi." Cassandra smiled.

Lisbon smiled back. "Hello."

Cassandra was lean and petite. She looked about 5'6? Her dress was a moon silver and showed her long legs off. She wore no makeup but, she looked gorgeous. Cho tugged her along to the dance floor. She waved at them goodbye and sat down on a stool in the corner. She sighed.

_Corners are fun… Aw, who the hell am I kidding!?!!? I'm single and lonely. I can't get that straight. Cho got Cassandra, Rigsby got Van Pelt, Minelli has a girlfriend that I do not know her name, Hayley is probably going to get the DJ, Taylor going to get that hot guy she keeps giggling with, and Jane has his dead wife that he can't let the hell go off. I am basically the loner. Wow, loners feel THIS shitty!?! _

"Want to dance?" a voice pulled her through her miserable thoughts.

She looked up and saw Jane holding his hand out.

"I-I-I can't dance." She muttered.

"I can't either."

She looked at him and then his hands. She sighed and got up. She walked over to the dance floor. "Are you coming?"  
He grinned and ran after her. He put his arm around her waist in a casual hold. She looked at him and saw that she was only an inch shorter than him, thanks to Hayley's hardcore boots. When they got to the floor, they got into position. Her hand in his, his arm still around her waist, and her arm around his neck. She started swaying with him; letting him lead into an unfamiliar world of peace and harmony. Hayley grinned and saw the two on the dance floor and whispered a song into the befriended DJ's ear. He nodded and put it on. She looked over her shoulder to she Hayley and Taylor grinning. She narrowed her eyes.

"This one is for the best cousin in the whole damn world, Lisbonbon!!!!" Taylor laughed into the microphone. "The song? It's none other than Every Time We Touch!"

"What!?!?!" Lisbon screamed. "I thought it was supposed to be Demonology and Heartache!!!"

"Nope, we changed it."

"Damn you."

_I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me.  
I still feel your touch in my dreams.(my dreams)  
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why  
Without you it's hard to survive._

Lisbon buried her head in Jane's chest, crimson dancing across her face. She was slowly dying from embarrassment. Jane nuzzled his head in her neck.

"It's fine."

_'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.  
And every time we kiss I swear I could fly.  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.  
Need you by my side.  
'Cause every time we touch, I feel this static.  
And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.  
Can't you hear my heart beat slow...?  
I can't let you go.  
Want you in my life._

She still had her face in his chest, blushing 12 times harder.

_Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky.  
They wipe away tears that I cry. (I cry)  
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.  
You make me rise when I fall._

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.  
And every time we kiss I swear I could fly.  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.  
Need you by my side.  
'Cause every time we touch, I feel this static.  
And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.  
Can't you hear my heart beat slow...?  
I can't let you go.  
Want you in my life.

_'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.  
And every time we kiss I swear I could fly.  
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.  
Need you by my side.  
'Cause every time we touch, I feel this static.  
And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.  
Can't you hear my heart beat slow...?  
I can't let you go.  
Want you in my life._

She finally pulled her head out and looked around. She looked at the smirking face of Jane. She narrowed her eyes at Hayley and Taylor and walked off. "You did it now." Hayley whispered to Taylor.

Taylor went to request a song to the DJ. Not just any song; Lisbon favorite song. The DJ nodded and flipped it on.

_Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen  
so unsure but it seems, 'cause we've been waiting for you_

_Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste  
of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway_

Lisbon turned to Taylor with a 'Thanks' face on. Taylor smiled at her. _  
_

_I see a distant light, but girl this can't be right  
Such a surreal place to see so how did this come to be  
Arrived too early_

And when I think of all the places I just don't belong  
I've come to grips with life and realize this is going too far  


Lisbon sat down on her stool and closed her eyes. She sighed. This was one of her favorite songs. It was because it told so much of her life. Too much about it.

_I don't belong here, we gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife  
'Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here_

A place of hope and no pain, perfect skies with no rain  
Can leave this place but refrain, 'cause we've been waiting for you  
Fallen into this place, just giving you a small taste  
of your afterlife here so stay, you'll be back here soon anyway  


Jane spotted her alone and sat with her.

"Hi." He smiled

"Hi."

"This is a pretty good song for hard rock."

"Yeah, it's good."

"… Wanna dance?"

"Like hell."

They headed to the dance floor, hand in hand. They got into position, hand in hand, his arm around the curve of her hip, her arm around his neck, her head tilted inside his shoulder.

_This peace on earth's not right (with my back against the wall)  
No pain or sign of time (I'm much too young to fall)  
So out of place don't wanna stay, I feel wrong and that's my sign  
I've made up my mind_

Gave me your hand but realize I just wanna say goodbye  
Please understand I have to leave and carry on my own life  


They swayed with each other, letting the feeling take them away. Lisbon smiled, she felt so great. This felt so right.

_I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife  
'Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here  
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you  
This place full of peace and light, and I'd hope you might  
take me back inside when the time is right  
_

Lisbon gasped. Jane stopped.

"What?" he asked.

She blushed. "This is my favorite part."

He chuckled at her and shook his head.

_  
Loved ones back home all crying 'cause they're already missing me  
I pray by the grace of God that there's somebody listening  
Give me a chance to be that person I wanna be  
(I am unbroken; I'm choking on this ecstasy)  
Oh Lord I'll try so hard but you gotta let go of me  
(Unbreak me, unchain me, I need another chance to live)_

(Fast Guitar Solo)  
(Screaming)  
(Laughing)  


"Ahh, that was good." She grinned and started to dance with him again.

_I don't belong here, I gotta move on dear escape from this afterlife  
'Cause this time I'm right to move on and on, far away from here  
Got nothing against you and surely I'll miss you  
This place full of peace and light, and I'd hope you might  
take me back inside when the time is right_

The two let go of each other.

"Thank you for the dance, my lady." He grinned and kissed her hand.

She smiled and took her hand back. "The pleasure was all mines."

BACK IN THE CAR

"That was wonderful~!" Taylor sang with Hayley.

Lisbon laughed a musical laugh. "Yes, very."

Jane was paying no attention. The girls looked at him.

"Oh, yes, it was lovely." He said quickly.

"You hated it." Lisbon guessed.

"I didn't LOVE it, it was okay."

"I know why." Hayley grinned, showing off her canine teeth.

"Why?" he asked.

"Cause you didn't get to kiss Lisbon. I mean on the lips."

"WHAT!?!?" Lisbon yelled.

"What!?!? Is right." Jane agreed.

"I can see it in your eyes!" Taylor agreed.

"The house is right there." Lisbon pointed. "Out."

"Fine." They grumbled and got out. "Bye, Jane!"

He waved. Lisbon was about to get out with Jane not knowing what to do, brought his lips to hers. She panicked at first, but calmed at the tenderness. Her arms found their place around his neck and his hands roamed around to her hips. They kissed long and passionately.

"You really wanted that, I'm guessing." Lisbon smirked after they finished kissing.

"Yeah…"

She cupped his chin. "Naughty boy." She slithered out of the car and waved goodbye. He smiled to himself as he got home. _You got her around your finger. Nice job Janey boy. Nice job._


	13. Indestructible

**Disclaimer:**** Nothing belongs to meh. Nothing. Enjoy!!!!!! *runs around and flails arms* The songs used:**

**You Eclipsed By Me**

**Congregation of the Damned**

**Black Days Begin**

**Gallows**

**They are all by Atreyu, lolz. They are NOT mine!**

Indestructible

"And I'll thank you for the scars. And the guilt and the pain. Every tear I never cried has your fucking fate! Did you take me for a fool or were just too blind to see? Then every effort made has failed and there is no destroying me! Hah??" Lisbon grinned.

"No." Sammie shook her head. "You don't go as high when you sing 'fucking fate.' You go an octave higher, not three."

"Nyah." Lisbon moaned.

Sammie gave Lisbon her guitar. "Try the melody."

She grabbed the guitar and strummed the newer, rock/metal beat.

"Good, very good." Sammie smiled.

"This is like one of the hardest songs we pulled off."

"Nope, that was 'Demonology and Heartache.'

"No…"

"Yes."

"Where are Hayley and Taylor?? I need them to complete the song."

"They went out."

"Nyah. What am I supposed to do? Ask Jane to play the drums for us?" Lisbon quickly covered her mouth on what she had just said. Sammie grin grew bigger and her eyes gleamed.

"That's exactly what we are going to do." She started to call him up.

"NO!" Lisbon wailed and chased after her.

Sammie talked to Jane and ran. She finally hung up.

"… HE'S COMING! HE'S COMING!"

Lisbon's eye twitched. She grabbed her guitar and tried and failed to hit Sammie with it. Sammie laughed.

"YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ME! I AM WINDEXTOR! I WILL CLEAN YOUR SOUL! BWHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!"

Lisbon stood there in rage. "Does he even know how to-"

"Yus, he played in 4th grade and continued."

"How did you-laptop."

"Yeah…."

"I want to do so many things to you. SO MANY!"

"Pfft, yeah right. You wouldn't pull anything off with PATRICK here. Oh, oh Patrick. Come rub my nipples and caress my hips!"

"SAMMIE!!!!!!!" Lisbon shrieked and sprinted after her.

"What!??! You say it in your sleep. No, you SCREAM it in your sleep!"

"SAMMIE! I do not scream for my consultant to 'come rub my nipples and caress my hips' thank you very much!"

"Liar."

They both turned to the door.

"This was unlocked. Be careful!"

"JANE!!" Sammie squealed and glomped him. Jane carefully hugged her back.

"I am not lying about that!"

"Yeah, you are."

"Nope."

"So," he walked behind her making her body tense. "You wouldn't like it if I did this," he put his hand on her right hip and rubbed it. "Wouldn't you?"

She struggled to not do anything. His hand moved over to her upper thigh. She grabbed his wrist and used his hand to smack him. She fumed and went into the studio.

"… Someone needs a happy meal." Jane snorted.

Sammie tugged him into the studio. She pointed to the drums and the stool.

"Sit down and take the damn sticks and show us what you can do."

"Is Storm to Pass- No, I need to work on You Eclipsed by Me!!" Lisbon decided.

Sammie rolled her eyes and got her bass ready. She handed Lisbon the guitar.

"This is Hayley's." Lisbon moaned.

"Oh sh-" Sammie ran to get Lisbon's metal sounding guitar.

"Yay." She set it up, following the microphone.

Sammie gave the drum guidelines to Jane.

"Have fun." Sammie grinned.

She nodded to Lisbon and they started.

"I began my ascent at minus zero  
You made so sure of that  
You tried to keep me down here  
Your complacency has been your downfall  
Nobody made you king of the world  
And now I'm here to dethrone  
So kiss the ring motherfucker  
It's my time, my time to shine  
Grasping for the straws as they fall  
Maybe you can make a splint for your broken ego  
For your broken ego"

"And I say thank you for the scars  
With the guilt and the pain  
Every tear I've never cried  
Has sealed your fucking fate  
Did you take me for a fool  
Or were you just too blind to see  
That every effort made has failed  
And there is no destroying me"

"Hate can be a positive emotion  
When it forces you to better yourself  
You built me, constructed my desire  
Perfected my hatred  
Now I'm driven to be ten times better than you think you are  
Ten times better than you think you are  
Piece by piece I've built my walls  
And burned my bridges down  
That lead back to people like you  
So full of malice, so full of scorn  
You tried your best to crush my spirit  
You tried to steal my soul  
You pushed my back against the wall  
And I broke it down"

"I will not be broken  
though I am the one that bleeds  
I will not be broken  
I am the one

I will not be broken  
though I am the one that bleeds  
I will not be broken  
I am the one

I will not be broken  
though I am the one that bleeds  
I will not be broken  
I am the one"

"And I say thank you for the scars  
With the guilt and the pain  
Every tear I've never cried  
Has sealed your fucking fate  
Did you take me for a fool  
Or were you just too blind to see  
That every effort made has failed  
And there is no destroying me  
There is no destroying me  
No there is no destroying me"

Sammie grinned. "You did the 'fucking fate' part perfectly."

Lisbon bowed. "Thank you."

As she bowed, her shirt revealed some cleavage that Jane was exposed to.

"Lisbon… You might want to…" Jane stared.

Lisbon looked down. She did and a double take. She blushed and stood straight up.

"Hehehe…" she laughed nervously.

Jane chuckled with a shake of his head as if saying, 'My God, you fail.'

"Jane, you did great!" Sammie yelled to kill the silence.

Lisbon rolled her eyes.

"I know I did."

"And at the ending, that little solo, AMAZING!"

Lisbon face palmed.

"Aww, you look so cute when you're annoyed.

She hissed. "Yeah, I don't know what's more hardcore. Your hiss or your singing voice."

Sammie looked at Lisbon. "Dammit girl, you need a Dr. Pepper."

" Make that two please." Jane asked.

"What am I? A damned maid?" she went to go get the drinks.

He got of the stool and looked through the sample music on the selves. _Black one is Hayley's and the green one is Lisbon's I'm guessing. _He looked through Lisbon's while she wasn't paying attention. He flipped to an interesting looking one. It read:

**Congregation of the Damned**

He grinned and took out the disc. He went to the stereo and put it on. Lisbon turned to him.

"What are you doing Which one was that!?!????"  
"Oh, it was-"

"I'm going to give this monster life;  
I may not have the pieces.  
I'll keep on going through the night,  
to see you all left screaming."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "This one??"

"Yup. It sounded interesting!"

"Face-to-face,  
the Congregation of the Damned.  
Face-to-face,  
Screaming while we can.

I get carried away,  
Lost in a moment,  
Torn into pieces,  
of violent display.  
I tear it away,  
Lost in a moment,  
searching for answers,  
I'm lost in the fray."

"This life's a case,  
Of do or die,  
Sometimes I need no reason,  
To lose myself,  
In you tonight,  
Right now's the darker season.

Face-to-face,  
the Congregation of the Damned.  
Face-to-face,  
Screaming while we can."

"I get carried away,  
Lost in a moment,  
Torn into pieces,  
of violent display.  
I tear it away,  
Lost in a moment,  
searching for answers,  
I'm lost in the fray.

The Congregation of the Damned!  
The Congregation of the Daaaaaaamned!

Face-to-face,  
the Congregation of the Damned.  
Face-to-face,  
we're all,  
screaming while we can."

"I get carried away,  
Lost in a moment,  
Torn into pieces,  
of violent display.  
I tear it away,  
Lost in a moment,  
searching for answers,  
I'm lost in the fray.  
I tear it away,  
Lost in a moment,  
searching for answers,  
I'm lost in the fray.

I get carried away,  
Lost in a moment,  
Torn into pieces,  
of violent display.  
I tear it away,  
Lost in a moment,  
searching for answers,  
I'm lost in the fray."

"Oooo!!! What's this one??" Jane reached for another one and put it in.

"JANE!!!!"

"We're all hell bent on destruction;  
Try to erase black spots on our soul.  
Hide from a violent eruption,  
Cataclysmic,  
Engulfing us all.  
Maybe (Maybe!),  
Tonight (Tonight!),  
we'll burn up the things that come for us all!

You're body,  
it taunts me,  
your flesh is oh-so-haunting!"

"Children of the night,  
Throw your hands up in the air.  
We all know we've lost the fight,  
Hopes dies out and we can see the end,  
Black days begin.

Walk down this path of temptation,  
deny the flesh,  
ignore what's crawling below.  
Stay true (Stay true!),  
Stay gold (Stay gold!).  
We'll burn up the things that come for us all!"

"You're body,  
it taunts me,  
your flesh is oh-so-haunting!

Children of the night,  
Throw your hands up in the air.  
We all know we've lost the fight,  
Hopes dies out and we can see the end,  
Black days begin."

"You're body,  
it taunts me,  
your flesh is oh-so-haunting! 

"Children of the night,  
Throw your hands up in the air.  
We all know we've lost the fight,  
Hopes dies out and we can see the end.  
Children of the night,  
Throw your hands up in the air.  
We all know we've lost the fight,  
Hopes dies out and we can see the end,  
Black days begin."

Sammie came back with the drinks.

"Thanks." Jane and Lisbon said together at the same time.

Sammie walked over to the CDs.

"Hey, Lisbonbon, it's Gallows!"

"Put. It. On. That is like the only song that I was proud pulling off."

"Yus." Sammie threw it on.

"Yay! More Lisbon singing!" Jane laughed with an arm flail.

"This life starts with a heart beat  
is it beat beat beat beat beating me down  
Like the loser I am?  
I can't help but to see  
That success scares the living shit outta me  
Like the loser I am

Every time I walk away  
Every word I ever say"

"Restless, chasing shadows  
Choices, facing gallows pole  
Are you hanging by a thread  
Or swinging from the rope?  
Don't think we don't see your scars  
are you afraid of who you are

Denial, a subtle burn  
Is it burn burn burn burn burning me out  
Or feeding the flames?"  
"Spread out the ash, pretend to see  
That you can still find some value in me  
Or just feed the flames

Every time I walk away  
Every word I ever say

Restless, chasing shadows  
Choices, facing gallows pole  
Are you hanging by a thread  
Or swinging from the rope?  
Don't think we don't see your scars  
are you afraid of who you are"

"Oh my God what am I afraid of  
Success or not having what it takes?  
Oh my God I am afraid of me  
And everything that brings

Restless, chasing shadows  
Choices, facing gallows pole  
Are you hanging by a thread  
Or swinging from the rope?  
Don't think we don't see your scars  
Are you afraid of who you are  
Afraid of who you are  
Are you afraid of who you are"

"That was all me." Lisbon smirked at Sammie.

"Pfft, I told you what to sing."

"But, no one played instrumental music for me."

"You keep telling yourself that."

"By the sound of it, Lisbon was the only one singing; always picking the hardcore parts." Jane smirked at both of them.

"So…?" Sammie asked.

"She did hesitate faintly once or twice."

"I have flaws." Lisbon rolled her eyes.

"Not that many but yeah, you know. She was helping-"

"HAH."

"But, Lisbon did most of the work."

"HAHA!" Lisbon grinned.

Sammie went into the corner and rocked. Lisbon banged her head on the wall. Jane sshook his can a little.

"Sammie, can I get ore Dr. P?"

**I ish done with this story. :3 Yay! I hope you like this one!! I still need to catch up, big time! R&R… please? I would be so happy. ^^**


	14. Beach

**I do not own any of The Mentalist characters! I do not own any of them! I do not own the song, 'When Two Are One' by Atreyu, so don't have a heart attack**

**HOLY SHIZ! I have not uploaded in a while D: I am so sorry for that, I have major writers block and I'm barely on the computer. For all you Jisbon fans, hehe.**

_Okay, what the hell is she doing? _Jane thought to himself as he watched his boss setting up and microphone and several other things. She had a very serious face doing all of this. _She does take music seriously. It's like her crack. _She was wearing some kind of band tee, he thought it said, 'Avenged Sevenfold' on the breasts. She was wearing these sea foam green pants, which complimented her eyes wonderfully. She had faint eye shadow on.

"Dammit!!" she barked at the microphone that was stubbornly not doing what it needed to.

"… There we go!" she grinned and he saw absolutely no difference with the microphone before and after. That's when she ran over to the iPod dock and pressed play on it. She ran back to the microphone.

"Heh, might as well rehearse before Hayley comes." She smiled waiting for the song to turn on.

That's when a classy intro of piano sounding electric guitar came on.

"What the-" he started

"Bang!  
Explosions in my head that just won't quit.  
A train has crashed into the wall around my heart.  
And left me the old me dead, obliterated.  
Stop!  
My breathing in the night when you're not there."

She let out a shriek that made Jane jump. _That's probably part of the song. Heh, I hope._

"The silence ringing through my ears,  
And all I want to do is hear your voice.  
But you're not there.

Drawn together,  
Painter's brushstroke,  
Slight of hand we,  
We won't go up in smoke.  
Fates colliding,  
Love undying.

Like the rising tide  
Beating hearts grow but never die.  
Simplify, I'll stand by your side,  
Close my eyes, hope will never die." 

"Like the rising tide  
Beating hearts grow but never die.  
Simplify, I'll stand by your side,  
Close my eyes, hope will never die.

Boom!  
Take away the pain of being me.  
Soothe my soul, caress my heart and end my fear, all my bad memories,  
Eradicated.  
Bang!  
Like gunshots heard against the silent night,  
My love is stronger than these words; they're stronger than the rest.  
Unstoppable, unstoppable!"

"Drawn together,  
Painter's brushstroke,  
Slight of hand we,  
We won't go up in smoke.  
Fates colliding,  
Love undying.

Like the rising tide  
Beating hearts grow but never die.  
Simplify, I'll stand by your side,  
Close my eyes, hope will never die.  
(Will never die.) 

Like the rising tide  
Beating hearts grow but never die.  
Simplify, I'll stand by your side,  
Close my eyes, hope will never die." 

"Die."

She held the word die in a mind bending scream. Jane gaped in awe. _Holy shit, she's passionate. And really… good._

"Drawn together,  
Painter's brushstroke,  
Slight of hand we,  
We won't go up in smoke.  
Fates colliding,  
Love undying.

Like the rising tide  
Beating hearts grow but never die.  
Simplify, I'll stand by your side,  
Close my eyes, hope will never die. 

Like the rising tide  
Beating hearts grow but never die.  
Simplify, I'll stand by your side,  
Close my eyes, hope will never die.  
Will never die.  
Die!"

"You were rehearsing without me? SHAME!" Hayley backslapped Lisbon on the head.

"Heh, I guess I was."

She glared. "Had to finish some business with-"

"Bloodstroke?"

"Yeah… he wants me to take over the pack."

"Damn, then that's means…"

"Yeah, I gotta be Alpha."

"But, you're a Beta!"

"I know!!" she sighed. "This is too hard for me to understand."

"It's okay, hun." Lisbon hugged Hayley.

Hayley smiled a little. "Thanks, Tess."

"Yup."

"So, you wanna practice?" Lisbon asked her.

"YUS."

"How do people mistake Flyleaf for Paramore?" Lisbon asked.

"I seriously have no clue." Hayley laughed.

"Me either. They are so damn different!!!"

"I know!!"

"I do see a difference as well as you guys do."

"Indeed you d- JANE!?!? What the hell!?!?! Are you flipping stalking me!??!"

"No…"

"Well, it seems that way, you are ALWAYS intruding into MY house!!!"

"There is something called a paperclip."

"OH GOD DAMMIT!!"

Hayley sat there silently.

"I wanted you to come to the beach with meh."

"… The beach!?!?" she suddenly started to blush. _That means he is going to be… shirtless. And I'm going to be in… NYAH!! _

She stared at him. "I-I don't know…"

He smirked at her. She was so cute confused. The way her eyebrows creased, the way her lips pursed and nose wrinkled. It was too cute. Then he pulled out the best thing to say. He gave the puppy dog face.

"Pwease?"

_Oh, God. Please don't pull THAT face on me!!_

She rolled her eyes. "Fine!"

Jane looked at Hayley. "You wanna…"

"Nope."

"Okay."

"Did you come with everything?"

"Yup, go on, get changed." He smirked at her thinking of how sexy she would look in a bikini.

"Stop picturing me half naked!!" she screamed as she went into her room.

Lisbon had her arms crossed on her chest as she sat on the beach towel. She was fuming. _He has the nerve to pop out into my house and drag me to the beach with him! Bastard! _She rolled her eyes as she watched him splash around in the water like a child as she listened to her iPod on dry land. Jane looked up to her and waved. She glared at him and turned around, not making eye contact. Shit, Lisbon was **NOT **a happy camper. Jane picked up on that and went over and plopped down next to her.

"Someone needs a happy meal!" Jane teased. She hissed at him.

"Woo, someone is a little prissy today."

"I swear I will bite you until you bleed to death."

Jane's eyes widened at the threat because he knew that could happen. He started to smile a little and nudged her side with his elbow.

"C'mon, at the beach you're supposed to have-"

"Fun? Hell no." Lisbon growled.

Jane moved back from her a little. _She just needs to calm down a little. _

She sighed and leaned on top of the rod of the umbrella. _Today's gonna be a long day…_

As Jane swan around the ocean, he snuck a peek at Lisbon. She was fast asleep, not shaded from the umbrella. _Oh, no! She's going to get sunburn and be EVEN crankier!! _He ran over to her settlement and looked for the sunscreen. He grabbed the bottle and slathered it on his hands. He kneeled besides Lisbon as she was still sleeping soundlessly. She looked breath-taking asleep. Her curls curtained her face as a light blush coated her cheeks. Her mouth had a small Cheshire cat grin. He chuckled to himself and started applying sunscreen on her arms gently. She was still out cold. _Perfect! _Jane smiled. He moved over to her legs adding more sunscreen to his hands when he needed to. He went back up, rubbing in on her bare stomach. He would have put sunscreen on her chest but, he knew he was better than that. She then flipped over so her back faced him and her smile grew bigger and her blush darkened. _That made everything a hundred times easier. _He smiled as he caressed at her back. He felt her shudder in her sleep. When he finished, he put the bottle away and ran back into the ocean. 10 minutes later, Lisbon woke up. She noticed her whole body felt sticky and somewhat slimy. She looked to see the bottle of sunscreen still open and thrown into the bag. She started to blush hysterically. _That's why I had that dream… _She thought. She still couldn't believe he put sunscreen on her. She sighed and pulled out a book and started to read. Jane turned to her to see her reading and not in the water with him. He frowned and got out of the ocean and headed to Lisbon's direction.

"Swim with me." He moaned and sat down next to her.

"No."

"Please?? It's lonely."

"No."

"PLEASE!?!?!?"

"No matter how much I want to smack you right now, no."

He pouted and crossed his arms over his chest with an unnecessary 'hmpt.' She went back to reading with a small eye roll. She looked up to find Jane was gone. _What the-_ Lisbon screeched as she felt something lift her up. Someone lift her up. She thrashed around violently. She turned to look at the person straight in the eye.

"Jane…" she warned, glaring.

"I want you to come with me."

"No!" she thrashed around again, only harder, making him almost lose his grip at her waist, holding her down.

"C'mon? Why not take a swim? It's so nice out."

"I said no, God dammit!!!!" Jane was already in the ocean, the water at knee length. "Let me go!!" she screamed. "HELP, HELP!!! ABUSE, ABUSE!!!!!" she screeched. "HE'S GONNA RAPE ME!!!!!"

Jane glared at her.

"Would I seriously RAPE you in a PUBIC place?? Maybe at your house in your bedroom but-"

"JANE!" she couldn't stop the blush from rushing to her cheeks. He grinned at her. "Ready?"

"JANE!!!" She was already underwater. She panicked underwater and thrashed about. _Crap, crap, crap, crap!!! _She pushed herself out of the water. She wadded her way out of the deep ocean and went to the shore. Grumbling to herself, she dried herself off with a towel and sat back down with a pissed expression on her face. Jane popped up from the ocean, laughing his ass off.

"That was perfect, Lisbon! … Lisbon?" he looked frantically for her. He even dove back in the water. He came back up, gasping for breath. He eyed the shore and saw Lisbon there, reading her book. He glared and ran to shore.

"Lisbon!! C'mon! Why don't you stay with me?"  
"I didn't even want to be here!" Lisbon growled.

"Oh, Lisbon?? Please, please, please!?!?"

"No."

"Lisbon!! I'm begging you! I l-" she grabbed him by his cheeks and kissed him She quickly let go and pushed him away.

"Will you shut up now??"

"Hmmm… one more?"

"NO!"

"Hee hee, I thought so."

**Alright! I made I think my 13****th**** oneshot! I'm pretty proud of that! I would have gone on but, I couldn't really think of anything! xD I hope you guys like this oneshot and PLEASE. R&R!!!!!!!**


	15. Crack Chapter!

**Here is the next oneshot! ^^ I hope you guys like this one! ((Thank you, Flyleaf, for the idea!))**

* * *

_Why am I here? Why am I here with... them? Why do I have to come with Jane with his date, none other than... I'll let you guess. Who on this show has a name that ah begins with a K and is a complete slut? If you guessed Kris, YOU ARE AN IDIOT! There are no Kris on this show! It's none other than that red haired, physic fraud, Kristina. She sickens me, that skank. She is... uh! I can't even describe her. So, tell me, why am I sitting down, holding this menu to hide my dirty glares at the two giggling and teases each other constantly? Why the hell am I here? The waiter came with our food, eying the two and grinning at them._

"_It's love, isn't it?"_

"_Love can kiss my-" I started before the waiter walked away. I bit at my food without growling or hissing at that bitch. I hate her. I just hate her. The rage built up slowly as they talked and laughed. I'm surprised I didn't slap her with my off duty gun. I'd like to SHOOT her with my off duty gun! Oh, then I'd lose my awesome job with amazing co-workers/friends. And Jane too. Oi, I'm a mess. God, save me!As we finished our meal and the bill came, I slammed a 100 dollar bill and walked away, enraged and hurt._

"_Tell them to keep the change!" I hollered over my shoulder as they probably ignored me and the check, still laughing and talking. I went int my car and drove away, fighting back those stubborn tears that were trying to pass out of my body. I bit my tongue. Patrick Jane, you have lost you're only chance in finding freedom..._

"Oh, there's the check. Didn't even notice. Lisbon, do you want to-" Jane looked up to see the check with a 100 dollar bill on it and Lisbon nowhere to be found.

"Lisbon? Where did she go?"

"I don't know. Least it saves you some money..." Kristina purred.

Jane smiled a cheeky grin at her. "You are right." They pulled on their coats and walked out of the restaurant.

_I ran inside and jumped onto the couch, crying my heart out. I'm not a emotional woman or anything but, I felt so enraged and hurt. It's like they didn't even want me there! They completely ignored my existence there. Why did he even invite me? To watch that unmistakeable torture? Does he hate me that much to do such a thing to me? What have __I done to him that matches the cruelty level he had done to me? I spent most of my day weeping and crying on the sofa, trying so hard to forget by watching old black and white movies and eat ice cream. My heart felt so heavy, cracks ripping through the veins. Dear God, if you can hear me, I need to ask you, what did I do to deserve all this? _

_The next day at work was a complete hellhole. I got to work very early, I have nothing better to do. And besides, I have paperwork to do that no one else wants to do. I closed and locked my office door even though no one was there. Mr. Womanizer will be here soon. I plopped in my chair and put my earbuds in and turned my iPod. I am not in the mood for anyone right now. I pumped up the volume and started the huge pile of paperwork. As I start, my eyes feel wet, probably because of fresh, new tears. I can't stop thinking about last night. It was like a day in Hell. A cold, hard day in Hell. I smiled weakly at the thought. How could Hell be cold if it's near the the damn inner core? I got one fourth of the work done as Mr. Bigshot walked in. The first thing he probably noticed was the loudness of my music. I didn't care though. I was having a okay time doing this... ALONE. He looked at me with a smile, probably saying, 'hello.' I glared at him like I did to Kristina last night. Not. In. The. Mood. He gave me a confused look but, – like last night – shrugged it off. He has the NERVE to do that when I'm actually LOOKING? I ought... No, must do paperwork. I grabbed another handful of paperwork and started filling out multiple things at the same time. Something was tugging at my earbud. How the fuck did he... I started to think. _

"What's wrong with you?" Jane asked as he tugged my earbud out of my ear.

"I'm busy, Jane. Talk to me later." I growled.

"Seriously, you give me dirty looks, you ran off last ni-" he started.

"You forgot I was there! All you did was giggle with Kristina like schoolchildren as I sat there watching you! OF COURSE I'm going to run off! I don't want to spend time with you if that's ALL you are going to do!" I snarled at him.

He grinned. "So, you're jealous?"

That's it, I'm going to kill him. I glared at him.

"WHY THE HELL WOULD I BE JEALOUS OF YOU HANGING OUT AND HAVING DINNER WITH KRISTINA? DO YOU THINK I'M THAT LOW? DO YOU THINK I'M THAT SHALLOW? DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT I LIKE YOU? Here's a newsflash! I wouldn't like you if you were the only person on Earth. I would be an arsonist for all I care! Because," I stood up to make myself clear. And he could definitely tell I was not blushing.

"I DON'T LIKE YOU. Now, GET OUT, you worthless piece of crap!" I bared my teeth at him with my eyes burning into his. He looked at me, in shock and confused. He quickly slithered out and laid on the couch.

"GET YOUR ASS UP AND DO SOME WORK FOR A CHANGE!" I snarled at him. Mr. Patrick Jane, I officially hate you.

As I was home, drying my wet eyes for the 12th time in a row, I sniffed at the TV screen with a bowl of pretzels to nibble on. I stared at the screen as it showed some music videos. I sighed. Was I a little to hard on him? No, he did deserve it, I know that. There was a knock on the door. Watch it be Jane, I thought to myself. I opened the door to, yeah, of course, Jane. Doesn't this always happen to me in the fanfictions? That's right! I was browsing the internet and found the fictions. Our shipping name is... 'Jisbon' or something? Whatever. And we are occasionally called 'Jello.' WHY ARE WE NAMED AFTER A JIGGLEY SUBSTANCE!

"Hi." he said with a weak smile.

"Hello."

"Um, I sorry." he said, cautious of what to say.

"I am too."

"Can I come in?' that face was so... oh it could break your heart.

"Fine." I gave in.

He walked inside and sat down on the couch as I went to sit next to him. He looked at me again with those sad eyes.

"Sorry that I made you feel so bad."

"Sorry that I blew up today."

"I guessed I deserved it."

"You think." I mumbled.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Nothing." I said too quickly.

He grinned and inched closer. "Hm?" he raised his eyebrow.

I backed up on the couch. "Nothing."

He inched even closer. "Oh really?" He was on top of me now.

"Get off!" I yelled. "POTENTIAL RAPE! POTENTIAL RAPE!" I screamed.

"Lisbon, no matter how much I would love to-"

"JANE!"

"I'M NOT!"

"What are you going to do?" I grinned at him.

"Torture you." he grinned.

I raised my eyebrows.

"Really now?"

"Yeah, like I do with other women that did something wrong."

This was going to be good. I thought.

"Alright then, here I am. A petite and helpless woman. What exactly are you going to do, hm?"

Bad move. That when he rolled over on me and LAID on me. I stirred and wriggled.

"Jane. . . . JANE! GET OFF!" I thrashed wildly as my voice was probably muffled. He turned over so our foreheads were touching and dove in and kissed me. I screamed inside the kiss. I thrashed and kicked him in the crotch. He whined in pain and fell off me. He fell off of me with his arms around my waist, so I went down with him. My head slammed against his chest and he clung onto my waist. I tried to push up, but, he gripped me tight.

"You're not going anywhere, my dear." he grinned and placed me on the couch. I tried to escape but, he gripped at my wrists and held them above my head and started to kiss me. I stirred again, afraid of what would happen.

"Teresa..." he whispered. "Don't make me sit on you."

I gasped as his hand was at my stomach and was going under my shirt. It felt like his middle finger was tracing small, light circles around my bellybutton, making me buck my body. I stifled a moan rippling through my throat. It felt so good, but I couldn't moan and enjoy it, it would be too embarrassing. He could tell I was losing control of my actions, a devil of a grin spread on his face. He's going to have a lot of fun with me tonight. Oh, yes he is...


End file.
